Hello. This is me:
More specifically, this is me on my honeymoon. Do you see the face I am making at that chocolate pecan tart? That is a face I reserve only for food. My husband only gets to see it when he takes really flattering photos of me eating food (thanks, husband).
I started this blog because I love food. Because I love food, I spend way too much time looking at recipes on the internet. I don’t typically buy cookbooks unless they were written by Chrissy Teigen, but I do live by one rule when it comes to cookbooks: you should get one good recipe for every dollar you spend on the book. $24 artisan bread book? It better have 24 stellar recipes.
Anyway. There is one major pitfall of finding recipes on the internet: they aren’t vetted by anyone. There’s no editor, no test kitchen, no second or third or fourth opinion, and no option to skip straight to the recipe which is always buried at the end of the post. (No one cares that your 3rd grader got a gold star on their multiplication test so you decided to whip up a twist on a chicken paprikash your mom used to make and how it reminds you of the crisp autumns in Maine when you were growing up. Nobody. Just gimme that recipe.) Additionally, I recently discovered that you can choose to allow certain comments on a blog, which means that the writer can choose which comments to post, and of course they’re only going to pick the flattering ones. So forgive me if I sound a little cynical.
The goal of this blog is to try those internet recipes and post the results. Was it tasty? Was it easy? Would I make it again? Does it remind me of the crisp autumns in Maine when I was growing up? (Kidding.) Someone has to hold the bloggesses of the internet accountable, and that’s me. I’m basically Batman.
My results work like this: taste and ease of making are both given a score out of 10. 10/10 for yum means that I’m making the face in the above photo for the rest of my life, and 0/10 is the taste of andouillette. (It’s seriously nasty stuff.) Ease of making works the opposite way, where 10/10 is so difficult that I need a recovery week in which I only eat instant mac ‘n’ cheese, and 0/10 is so easy I could make it in my sleep. If that’s confusing to you, don’t worry. I don’t understand it yet either.
Furthermore, all photos were taken and will be taken by my cell phone, which is a Samsung Galaxy S6. (The exception is the one at the top of this page, which was taken on a Droid Mini.) Why am I doing this, you ask? Because if this blog is going to be about recipes in real life and not just the beautiful picture painted on some food fantasy blog, the photos should be true to life as well. I’m not a professional photographer, and I sure as climate change don’t have the money to hire one. I want to show you what these recipes actually look like without waiting for a sunny day in May where the light diffuses perfectly through my cotton curtains. I live in a basement and sitting in my office means my back is to the windows. I’m going to leave the pretty pictures to the Instagram models.
Okay I think that’s it. Um…dang I should say something pithy and funny…
What do you call a pile of kittens?
Are you still reading this?
Stop it. I have nothing else to say.
That was a lie.
Butts butts butts.